My Struggle with Weight Story

     Going back all the way to elementary school, I remember being chubbier than my friends. It wasn't like I was obese and my doctor never mentioned loosing weight. As I grew older I learned that society deemed skinny people as cool and popular. One memory that comes to mind is when I used to dance hula. I remember at a performance we had to wear an outfit that showed our midriff. My kumu (hula teacher) was showing my mom how to tie my skirt tight to tuck in my belly fat. She announced in front of all my hula sisters,"You better suck in that gut!" After that I was always embarrassed about my flab and eventually quit dancing hula at age 10. 

     Middle school was pretty much the same. I wasn't skinny or super fat. Just a little on the chubby side. But being at the age of puberty I became very self conscious. My friends were getting boyfriends and so I thought I had to be skinny to get a boyfriend. Side note: I did get a boyfriend in 8th grade but it was pretty much a waste of time and emotions. 

     My turning point was the summer before I started high school. I was taking summer school P.E. so I wouldn't have to take P.E. during high school. Everyday that summer I would go to P.E. class till noon, come home, eat a yogurt and then follow along with a Richard Simmons VHS and a tai chi VHS. Yes I did Richard Simmons 😳. But this routine worked and when it was my first day of high school I was about 20 lbs skinnier. 

     It didn't stop there though. Getting that taste of being skinner and getting attention from boys caused me to want more. I stopped eating in order to lose weight because it was fast and effective. When my stomach would growl I would drink water and keep myself busy so I wouldn't think about it.  It wasn't the best method but I was addicted to being skinny. My junior year I got down to my lowest weight of 95 lbs. (I'm 5'3" btw) I remember coming home after school and going straight to bed since I was so fatigued. I could fit a size 0 and I was so happy about it.

     Then I graduated from high school and started college. Freshman fifteen did creep up on me and I bounced around 115-120 during college.

     I met my fiancé in college and got pregnant with our first daughter. I really thought now is my time to eat whatever I want because no one is going to judge a pregnant lady for being fat. I went up to 180 lbs then gave birth. I started losing my baby weight because I would only eat a little bit. I was so busy taking care of my daughter that there was no time to eat (I may have had postpartum depression also). I got down to 125 lbs by the time my daughter was 9 months old.

     Then throw in the money wrench...I started working an office job. I gained 30 lbs from working just one year. I did try Purium and got down to 140 lbs. Then another monkey wrench...I got pregnant again. My weight went up to 184 lbs then I gave birth to my second daughter. After giving my body one month to get back to normal after labor my weight went down to 165 lbs and wouldn't budge. So I knew I wouldn't lose anymore weight or I would gain weight if I didn't make a conscious effort. For the past 2 weeks I started eating healthier and downloaded the Couch to 5K app. I have lost 5 lbs so far currently making me 160 lbs.

I'm a typical yo-yo dieter ↑

     So that's my struggle with weight story in a nutshell. I know it's long but I thought it would be helpful to understand where I'm coming from.